Sunday, November 30, 2003

I received an sms from my cousin asking me to open my email. I thought that there was something important that she wanted to pass to me. But when I opened it, arghhhh..... it was a baby pix of an *incredible hulk*. Whats her motive in giving me that pix! It had been so many years down the memory lane. I grew up soooo much till I didn't recognised that it was me, myself in that old pix.

Lately, I've been haunted by my past life. I called it *The twilight zone*. People that I knew since I was a little kid till I reached adulthood, my Exes girlfriends and the people that I used to date are coming back to my life! I kept meeting them wherever I go. Its good to hear from them that they are doing fine with their own lives. Some are still single, studying, serving NS, in prison, engaged and even married with children. Have I done something wrong back in the past? Or is there a lesson here that I had to take note? Hmmmm.....time really recycle and runs very fast.

My relatives came to my house for Hari Raya and asking me when will I get engage. What is this? Arghhhhh....... I've realised that I am getting older and older everyday. As for me right now, that is a No! No! My life is not yet stable. I don't have a stable companion. I don't have a stable job. My pockets are veryyyyyy low. Still serving my country. Even with my higher education, I can't do anything right now bcos of my NS situation. Sometimes I felt like NS is a waste of time. With the current cert that I am holding, I could earn thousands of dollars rather than the three digit number singapore dollars that I received every month. After my O levels, I should go and do my NS rather than getting my diplomas......Only time can tell what lies ahead of my destiny.

Lessons to be learnt-:
The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take and the difference between the impossible and the possible lies in the person's determination.
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Friday, November 28, 2003

That day, I was about to go to work but before that I went to the shell station to buy some tit-bits. On my way back to the parking lot, coincidencely I met *her*. I was quite surprised and startled a bit and began my conversation with a *hi! how are u?* She was on her way back from work while I was on my way to work. I had not been seeing her for quite a long time since we had split 2 years back and suddenly I met her. We chatted for a while but I was in a hurry because I was late for work. In spite of lateness, I asked her for her number and we exchange our number.

Soon later in the wee hours of darkness in the middle of nowhere while I was on duty, I gave her a call. We chatted for quite a long time till my HP battery went flat. After our split, a lot of changes had occurred. One big changes that I can't believed was that she had converted herself to muslim. What in the world did she did that for? Anyway thats the bravest thing that she had done. Congrats to her. Its good that she had converted herself to muslim and chosen the right path. Last time when I knew her, she was a free thinker but now.......everythings changed.

Our relationship are now totally OVER 2 years back and I am not going to look back and amend the mistakes that I had made. I am going to move on with my life and learn from the past.

A poem dedicated to our past memorable relationship-:

It has been long,
Since we're together,
But you have changed alot,
No more love in your heart,
Only memories left for me,
I have to realise that,
We are different now.

It seems impossible,
for us to be together again,
Let me keep this dissapoinment,
Let me be the one to surrender,
I wont stop you,
As long as you're happy,
Maybe all this is..
My fault..
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Thursday, November 27, 2003

Whenever I went patrol out at sea, my crew commander always like to ask me what I wanna plan to do after my NS. Whether I am interested to sign on or not. To sign on as a regular is definitely not my answer. I hate POLICE! Haha.... I am lucky and fortunate that during this time when the economy is still bad, I am still serving my NS. Whereas a lot of my friends who had finished their NS are struggling to find stable job due to economic downturn. At least now money still comes in to my pocket. Haha.... I had this feeling that one day I will be successfull. But I don't know what that is. Haha.....Just have to wait and see and let time goes by.....
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Wednesday, November 26, 2003

I had fixed the url to my new web. Every links is now in working order. Here is the url www.krank8k.vze.com Bookmark it! This is the final url. I was soooooo fuct tub with the server! Dammit......
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Yesterday was the most expensive trip that I ever experienced. In one day I got summon a total of 88 singapore dollars! What the tooooot! Firstly, I just ram through the ERP gantry without putting in my cashcard. And that has confirmed me $80. I just have to wait for the letter to arrive! arghhhhhh......this is the way to save money! haha.... And another $8, I was fined because parking without parking coupon! Life in singapore is veryyyyyyyy rich!

So the morale of the story is don't be a hero! Haha.....
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Tuesday, November 25, 2003

My new revamp site is online. visit here www.krank8k.reallyrules.com

Just ignore the ads. They are really killing me. Maybe one day got to get a domain for myself!
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Monday, November 24, 2003

1st day of Hari Raya, what does that means to you? For me it means waking up early in the morning and go to work! My uniform is my baju melayu. People are busy visiting their relatives house whereas I will be busy guarding the Singapore Territorial waters from terrorists as well as pirates and at the same time pay frequent visit to International trade craft.

Enough of this shitty crappy crap. Nobody will understand me! sigh......

Lastly, I would like to wish all the muslims Selamat Hari Raya and the non-muslims a Happy Merry Christmas. May god belasah you! Haha........
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Sunday, November 23, 2003

I'm going to revamp my webbie again! Haha...Construction of the new layout and design is under progress and it will be up soon!

Sigh.....Hari Raya still got to work! In the morning people are rushing to the mosque to perform prayers but I'm rushing to WORX! What is this man! Anyway this is my first time not celebrating Hari Raya with my families.....sigh sigh sigh....I guess I'm going to celebrate that special occasion in the middle of the sea with strangers! Haha
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Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Today is my last day of my leave. I've had enough of rest since the last 5 days and tomorrow will be working working and working and working and working until after 1 week of Hari Raya then I will be off again. sigh
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Today I've just realized that I need a lady(not a girl/woman) in my life to boost my self confidence and also the goals that I must achieve ahead of my path. I can't ignore it any longer. It had been a long time since I had someone special in my life. Hmmmmmm.......
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