The fridge story

Ah Seng: e-joi, let me ask you a question.
e-joi: About sex?
Ah Seng: No, lah! How do you put a giraffe into a fridge?
e-joi: Don’t know.
Ah Seng: You open the door, shove the giraffe in, then you close it. Now let me ask you another question…how do you add an elephant into the fridge if you can only put one animal in it?
e-joi: Open the door, shove the elephant in, and close the door.
Ah Seng: No! You open the door, take the giraffe out, then shove the elephant in and close it. Now, if you were on a plane and it was going to crash because it was overloaded, what should you throw out? A VCR, a fridge, or 10 bags that were heavier than the other two added together?
e-joi: I should throw myself.
Ah Seng: Got no parachute, lah!
e-joi: Then of course the 10 bags lah!
Ah Seng: Wrong! The fridge. Because the fridge itself is lighter than the 10 bags but there is an elephant in it...goondu! Now, last one... there was this very beautiful princess by the name of Monica. One day, a witch cast a spell on her. Now anyone who was 100 meters away would die. Then this prince by the name of Bill decided to be a hero and save her. Actually he wanted to have sex with her later. But he died 300 meters away. Why?
e-joi: Don't know.
Ah Seng: Because you throw the fridge on him, mah!

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Superman stunt

I just uploaded my ala-superman stunt video at youtube. It is taken while on the way back home from melaka at 140km/hr with my kakis across the north south highway. Enjoy!!!...

*note: Kids, don't try this at home! Parental guidance is advised.

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Why Italy won the world cup

This is why Italy won the world cup...
hahahah....

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Trade emotions

Once again, I'm back again to do the usual trades.
Have stop trading for 3 weeks now and if I continued previously of what is bugging me, I will be skrewed and more skrewed.

Never ever let emotions take over the concentration of a trade.
Now everything seems fine. My head is cleared of all dilemma. All the trades that had been executed had closed with profit. This is a great comeback for me. I just lurve the green...

*note: Never ever trade with emotions

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Changes sux

I think I need to get my life straight.
I need to start thinkin of my future.
No more dilly dally here and there.
I can see that everyone that I knew off had move on being busy with their own life.
I too need to move on and get a life of my own.
This sux.....
How times had changed.
I too need to fit in and adjust myself with the new changes...

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Believe in myself

Success is more important than ever, but I don't have to put too much pressure on myself.

As always, it's important for me to succeed right now -- but it's even more important for me to avoid putting too much pressure on myself. Go easy! Pressure, stress and self-doubt are my biggest enemies right now, and they could cause a bit of a landslide if I'm not careful. The good news is that I had already have all the power I need to conquer anything -- it's deep inside of me (whether you believe it or not). When I need it, all I have to do is believe and it will be there.

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How to start an Internet Business and have it be successfull

Starting an internet business is no different than starting a regular business. It's going to take start up money and you won't get rich overnight. You have to find a program that works for you and then work that program. Start by doing an internet search with search terms like "internet marketing", "affiliate marketing" etc. I suggest starting with affiliate marketing for several reasons.

Affiliate marketing has really taken off over the past couple of years. And this has all happened without a lot of people really knowing what it is. The definition of affiliate marketing is when an affiliate is rewarded for visitors or customers provided through their efforts. Compensation is different depending on the affiliate marketing program that you are using.

Being that every affiliate program is different, it is very important to research each program in depth. You want to be sure that you know when and how you are getting paid, and what the rules of the program entail.

If you are looking for the best affiliate marketing program you may want to consult an affiliate marketing guide. These guides, which are available on the internet, offer a listing of all of the top affiliate marketing programs. Many of these guides also offer opinions on each program.

If you are serious about finding the best affiliate marketing program you may want to contact companies that are using the programs that you are considering. By speaking with these companies you will be able to find out inside information on payment, profitability, and professionalism. There is not better way to get information than by asking someone who already uses the program.

There is really no right and wrong answer as to what the top affiliate marketing program is. Every program will have its own advantages and disadvantages. It is up to you to find out which program best suits your needs. Often times, the best affiliate marketing program is found in the least likely of places. This is why researching the different programs is crucial to your success.

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Greatest moment...

Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a movieplay,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
What you feel is what I feel,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start,
You have melt my heart,
You have captured everything,
I cant deny it all,
If you need something to be blame,
Just blame it on the worldcup that start it all.

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Boh tai boh chee wah chua lang lor

Lim peh kia lih see chin suay seow
Buah mee hong see kwee kah tua
Tzah kee kee lai loh song hong
Boh pian poon ai kee cho kang

Bu koh tong cheng lang tam poh ka buay chia ka kee
Gong zi goo see pei pai tiah eh way
Ah see lee suay-suay song hong, ka sao, sio goon goon
Lee poon ai lang tong cheng lee chiao kor lee

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No point...

I've paid my NS dues
And Reservist time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
They made a few
Kicked in my face
But I've come through

And I need to go on and on and on and on...

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Late hours cookin session

Late hours cookin session. I just lurve this dark quiet ambience pic. Theres no one else except me and the sound of heated wok. It feels like theres an angel shining from above the wok. My stomach will be filled with full of hope when I had done with the cookin. woohooo glasias....

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Life of a Singaporean

In Singapore, the majority of us live in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB),
And most people have already got used to Paying and Paying (PAP).
Not only do you have to pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB).
If that's not enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) and get more from you.
So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only Environment (MOE)?
With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA),
Which will leave some people Permanently Owing Some Banks (POSB).
And forced to live on the Loan Techniques Always (LTA) system.
When you fall sick and happen to be admitted to a Money Operating Hospital(MOH),
You might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund.
If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you,
And you will be Sure to Give up Hope (SGH).
To help ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressway (COE).
If that doesn't help, they can always Eternally Raise Prices (ERP) on the roads.
If you don't own a car, you can always make a Mad Rush to the Train (MRT),
OR get squashed in a bus Side By Side (SBS).
Lastly, under all these pressures, there are not many places we can relax,
Not even the good old place we used to go because it has become
So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)!!!

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Die lah like that

There was this case in a hospital's intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and always on Friday mornings, regardless of their medical conditions.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural. So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. Some held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy stuffs to ward off evil....

As the time approached, their hearts began beating anxiously, and with every beat of the clock, everyone held their breath........ .... Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, came into the room and unplugged the life support system so that she could use the vacuum cleaner.

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Robot chicken

This vid just make my day. Enjoy....

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WARNING!

WARNING!!!
Unauthorize trespassers will be smack
hahahahhaha....

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Pissed with paypal

Whats up with paypal anyway!

Last year, they had frozen my account together with my liquid assets and they demand some verification documents to get it unfrozen since Im dealing with huge transactions in and out of my account. But what the f*#k! and now they are sending me email notifying me that my account had been block and I couldnt access my account. And yes its no phishing email. My account really was BLOCK! Again as usual they demand some valid documents to get it unblock. But what the f*&k. How many documents did they want. They demand the same documents anyway. They can always refer to my previous documents. I wonder what did they do to my documents. These documents are all sensitive. They are really making me pissed. I'm starting to lose faith with them. They are about to lose one faithfull customer.....

So this is how they do business. Check out this link www.paypalsucks.com

You can fool me but Im not that stooopid to be fooling around....

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My forgetter

My forgetter's getting better but my rememberer is broke,
To you that may seem funny but, to me, that is no joke.
For when I'm "here" I'm wondering If I really should be "there",
And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer!

Often times I walk into a room, say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain a zero, is my score.
At times I put something away where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from, generally, is me!

When shopping I may see someone, say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away I ask myself, "who the heck was that?"
Yes, my forgetter's getting better while my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me crazy and that isn't any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

Shit, Now I don't remember what I'm suppose to do now..........

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I think I'm screwed

I think I'm screwed
Do you think I'm screwed?
Oh yes, I'm screwed!
Whatever it is, I'm screwed
Whenever it is, I'm screwed
Wherever it is, I'm totally SCREWED!
Now get me a screw driver cos I'm screwed...

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Italy won 2006 world cup

Yey!
Italy had won the 2006 world cup just as expected.
I told you so. You should put your whole bank on Italy.
Do you know why?
Because the mafia is closely watching the game and all eyes is on the referree.
muahahahahahhah........
Zidane and France is finished. Totally screwed! haha.....

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Horoscope????

I came across this horoscope of mine,

The Bottom Line
The problems of other people can give you a nice breather from your current drama.

In Detail
Every once in a while, it's okay to be entertained by the soap opera lives of others. There are some particularly juicy real-life storylines going on around you, and today you get an inside glimpse at a few details. But this emotional eavesdropping isn't so much a gossip-fest as a cautionary tale. Certain aspects of a situation ring a familiar note with your past, and this is an opportunity for you to see how taking a different path could affect your life.

But come to think of it, it is really true what it stated.
Anyway, I dont giv a damn shit about this horoscope.
Shit happens......

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Some facts or fictions

Guy facts:

When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine,"
after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

Girl facts:

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine,"
after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever,"
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that.

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Viva le France

Yey......
France wins last night match against Porto
Viva le France

Now its Italy against France in the world cup final.
hmmmm......
I'll go for the Italians.

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How to stay young

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them!"

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, ho bbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Comfort zone

I've decided to reveal some of my secrets. This is a screenshot taken from one of my accounts and see it to believe it yourself. Oh yes! those digits is in USD and not in SGD orite.

I am sick and tired of all the peeps that kept asking me about my occupation. Which company I work with and blahblahblah and so on. Well to tell you the truth, I am a slack embassador. hahaha....Yeah thats right.

Some of the peeps even wondered how I managed to survive after I ORD from NS since last year January without a job. By now, I would be eating grass like the kambeng and waiting to be slaughtered. Well, I wont reveal much and wont talk about it much. Its all about fine tuning your sick brain and the way you want to live your ass and survive in this sick world.

If I talk much, they will say that I am NATO(no action talkcock only). But its the truth. Its my life anyway...so fark off.

I'm going to smile all the way to the bank and I'm keeping my distance away from folks who aren't capable of facing facts.

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Private Play

When I was a little boy
Snuggled safe in bed
They said, I should play with my soldiers
If I wanted to get ahead

I looked down at my soldiers
Generals and Majors and said
Squad! Attention!.....
oooops....

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Turning the tables

What??? Italy wins against Germans!
hmmmmm....
So it is really the bookmakers' game now.
Majority including myself expected the germans to win the game.
So they must have rip millions and billions of mojos from last night game huh.
Ok, now I must set my thinking to the bookmakers way of thinking for the coming games.
I too want some share from it. So reserve some for me......muahahahahh

Porto-France.... I'll go for France

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Show me the money

1 for you, 2 for me.
1 for you, 5 for me.
1 for you, all for me!
muahahahahh.....

What??? Thats right. Thats 7k total all in 50 bucks notes in my hands.
To tell you the truth, that is the second biggest amount that I have ever held in my hands. My hands are really shaking man. I need a personal bodyguard to protect me from all the mafias scums and shitheads.

Ok peeps....
What if you have got tons of money in your hands.
What should you do with it.
Spend it?
Save it?
Grow it?
Share it?
Give it away?
hmmm......

Allright, back for me to do some money management.

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What????

sigh..... Argentina is allready out of the world cup. They had the game in their hand but WTF!!! the bookmaker had turn around the game. There is sooo many signals going on in that battlefield. Same goes to the Brazil-France game. Its a bookmakers' game now. Good luck to whoever put their whole bank in that game.

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Why Parents Go Grey

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about
An urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the
Boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:

"ME."

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Plain, simple or lazy.....

Pls dont keep asking me why my site is plain and simple compared to last time.
I just dont have the mood to decorate it with some themes or something.......

Im just lazy with no mood. Thats all......

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Living in 2006

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of
the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line
before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you
are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on
this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that
there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

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